"Because I said so"
Have you ever heard a parent say that to their kid? Or maybe even say it to your kids yourself? When I was a kid I heard that from time to time.
"Why?" ... "Because I said so"
I was never one to do things, or not do things, just because some authority mandated it. Whether that was my parents, school teachers, or any other designated "authority figure".
I always asked "Why?". I swear it was my favorite question to ask. I hated not getting a real answer, like the kind an adult would or should expect. It was the worst. I hated being treated like a kid.
What I think most people don't realize is that using that easy out too often is actually conditioning a child to do what they're told, anytime an authority figure demands obedience, and to do so without question. Because, after a while of hearing the same "Because I said so" over and over again, you might start to expect that answer so much that you don't even bother asking the all important question.
"Why?"
It's an important question, because someday an authority figure might tell them to do something you don't approve of. If/when that happens wouldn't you prefer they ask the question? The alternative, of course, is that they just do as they're told.
And last I checked, we sure do have a lot of that going on nowadays. Not enough people ask why they're being told to do things, or not to do things. A sheep never asks the shepherd why it's being pushed around by that stupid dog, it just goes where it is told.
There's always a better answer.
Do you have a good reason for telling them what to do or what not to do? Tell them what the reason is.
Not the right time/too busy? Explain that to them.
Would the answer be too inappropriate for a child of that age? Explain that to them.
A kid will respect you more, because they'll like that you respect them enough to explain things. They'll respect that you're being honest. Most of all they like to feel grown up, and they sure as hell don't feel grown up when they hear "Because I said so".
But most of all, it encourages them to ask questions. It encourages them to ask the question. "Why?" And maybe, just maybe, they'll dislike not being given an answer enough to someday tell some authority figure "No, I will not comply". And that is a beautiful thing.
That's the way I see it.
Have you ever heard a parent say that to their kid? Or maybe even say it to your kids yourself? When I was a kid I heard that from time to time.
"Why?" ... "Because I said so"
I was never one to do things, or not do things, just because some authority mandated it. Whether that was my parents, school teachers, or any other designated "authority figure".
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| Do as you're told! |
What I think most people don't realize is that using that easy out too often is actually conditioning a child to do what they're told, anytime an authority figure demands obedience, and to do so without question. Because, after a while of hearing the same "Because I said so" over and over again, you might start to expect that answer so much that you don't even bother asking the all important question.
"Why?"
It's an important question, because someday an authority figure might tell them to do something you don't approve of. If/when that happens wouldn't you prefer they ask the question? The alternative, of course, is that they just do as they're told.
And last I checked, we sure do have a lot of that going on nowadays. Not enough people ask why they're being told to do things, or not to do things. A sheep never asks the shepherd why it's being pushed around by that stupid dog, it just goes where it is told.
There's always a better answer.
Do you have a good reason for telling them what to do or what not to do? Tell them what the reason is.
Not the right time/too busy? Explain that to them.
Would the answer be too inappropriate for a child of that age? Explain that to them.
A kid will respect you more, because they'll like that you respect them enough to explain things. They'll respect that you're being honest. Most of all they like to feel grown up, and they sure as hell don't feel grown up when they hear "Because I said so".
But most of all, it encourages them to ask questions. It encourages them to ask the question. "Why?" And maybe, just maybe, they'll dislike not being given an answer enough to someday tell some authority figure "No, I will not comply". And that is a beautiful thing.
That's the way I see it.
I do understand the importance of explaining why to kids and in most cases try to do so. However, if I did that every time I was asked football practice would never end.
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