The Block Party


The recent presidential election, in a nutshell:

Host: "We're having a block party! Since you live on our block, you get to be part of it whether or not you want to, or we'll put you in a cage. We're about to vote on which kind of pizza to order."

Where's the option for "No party"?
Republican A and Republican B both shout: "I vote pepperoni! Also, everyone should pay the same percentage for the pizza, regardless of income. If my vote wins, everyone has to eat my pizza choice whether or not they want to. We'll force it down their throats!"

Democrat: "I vote vegan pizza! Also, the richest people at the party should pay for everybody's pizza. If my vote wins, everyone has to eat my pizza choice whether or not they want to. We'll force it down their throats!"

Anarchist: "I don't want to participate in this block party, and I don't want pizza. So I'm not participating in this vote. Why don't we all just order what we want, pay for our own food, and share what we can with anybody who can't afford to get anything?"

Host: *Orders pepperoni pizza*

Republican A and Republican B: "Yeah, that's right! We won! Now everybody eats pepperoni because it's the best! Pay up, bitches!"

Democrat: "I can't believe that I lost. Pepperoni and cheese are so bad for you and immoral on so many levels. I only like to eat vegan pizza. This pizza is not legitimate. How can you force me to eat it? Why am I being forced to pay for it?"

Anarchist: "Why did you guys order a pizza anyways? Since nobody could agree on the best kind of pizza, and some didn't want pizza at all... Not only am I being forced to participate in the block party in the first place, but I am being forced to eat pizza that I didn't want. Now I am being forced to pay for it? Hey Republicans, how is it ok to force me to pay for and eat your pizza choice because you won a vote that I didn't participate in? Hey Democrats, how would the pizza choice, and forcing me to eat and pay for it, be legitimate if you won?"

That's the way I see it.

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